Twelve Truths and a Lie

“Well,” I explained, after swallowing a bite, “depends how, um, sexually frustrated you’ve been and—”

“Extremely,” she said without hesitation, and I nearly choked on the cheese sliding down my throat. “I mean, Richard doesn’t even—”

She smashed her hand over her mouth, looking positively mortified. “Shit, never mind.”

“Who’s Richard?” I asked, thoroughly confused, wondering if I’d missed something in the conversation.

“Oh, God,” she said. “Can you forget I even said that?”

“Not a chance,” I replied, knowing it would bug the shit out of me all night if she didn’t fess up. “Don’t be embarrassed, we’ve talked about plenty of things already…”

As she took deep breaths, I tried to match up the name Richard to one of her old boyfriends she might’ve mentioned. Or was she more mortified that I’d brought up the idea of being sexually frustrated?

“Look, I wasn’t trying to embarrass you,” I said, attempting to dislodge her hand from her face. “Guys talk about jacking off all the time, I don’t know if girls do, but—”

“Of course we do,” she finally huffed out, her eyes bulging. “Richard is the name of my vibrator.”

Oh fucking Christ, what a visual. My dick immediately tented against my zipper. In that moment, I was so grateful the tablecloth was covering me. After I got over the initial shock and stimulation of her bringing up her vibrator, I focused in on the fact that she had named it in the first place. Richard.

I couldn’t hold back a snort and that caused a chain reaction in Aurora, who began giggling and then full-on laughing. Her face was so beet red that when we made eye contact and I said, “Richard. As in dick?” she howled even louder, causing the people in the booth behind her to turn around and stare.